Are You Dragging Your Past Into Your Future?

28 Jan

Pastor asked us one Sunday if we were moving forward in life as we moved forward in time. Wow! That is a powerful statement and plunged my thoughts into all kinds of places. Since I’m not a spring chicken any more my first thoughts were of my physical appearance. Vain though it is, my age has been telling on me in many ways recently. I didn’t think I was a vain person but that idea has now flown right out the window! I never allowed my thoughts to linger on aging until I woke up one morning old! I know, that’s not responsible but I believed I would always be youthful even when my age continued to rise. Oops! Not good.

In my defense, I have always been tenacious, hard-working and a lover of life. I have many interests and lots of things on my life-long bucket list. The thought of aging didn’t seem like something that would affect me that much. I have always seen myself as successful with the ability to overcome any and all challenges. While I suppose that is a good attitude to have it definitely needed some adjustment a lot earlier in my life.

I always pictured myself being able to work and take care of myself right up until my Father in Heaven called me home. Then, I would just close my eyes on earth and wake up in His presence. Sounded like a plan to me. Another Oops! While a positive attitude is a good thing, it doesn’t always mean we let go of things we need to let go of. I tucked many things away in a private place of my own because the thought of letting go meant change, and I’m usually more comfortable with things staying as they are. I have certainly found that out in this particular stage of my life. I am closer to my seventh decade than my sixth. That being said, I am at a time in my life where all those thoughts I used to have about aging not being a problem for me . . . .well, let’s just leave it at Oops!

When Pastor asked us if we were moving forward in life as we moved forward in time – I had to adjust my thinking a little. I like to think I’ve moved forward in time. Part of me has definitely stayed in the past. I suppose that’s to be expected as our years keep climbing. It becomes a little more noticeable when in the latter part of our sixtieth decade our body starts to argue with our minds about what we should and should not do anymore! I can understand that when it comes to some things, but I never thought it would be applied to getting up out of a chair or not having enough hair to cover my scalp anymore! I also didn’t realize how much I was going to dislike those tiny little lines in my face and around my eyes (the word starts with a “w”). And, I certainly didn’t think that I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between navy blue and black anymore. I could go on but I’ll stop there.

I don’t think that is exactly what the Pastor was referring to anyway. I think he had something completely different in mind. Actually, what he was talking about is a little more serious and a lot more harmful to our spiritual condition. I still didn’t want to deal with it but when Pastor shares what God has given him to share – it’s time to listen up.

Life itself forced me to face the aging process. I can’t ignore what the time God has given me is doing to this earthly body. On the brighter side, I definitely love the fact that when my appointed time comes to meet Him face to face – I won’t need this broken down body any more. I’ll have a completely new one – not sure what to expect  but I know it will be good.

My heart was stirred with Pastor’s question.  I had to face the sobering fact that there were a few things (maybe more than a few) that I was shielding from my past. Time passed and I had several things in tow that I didn’t want to leave behind. They had become too much a part of me, and  the idea of letting them go was never in question before now.

Let me put it like this – I can’t drive two cars at one time! If I buy a new car I either trade the old one in and enjoy the bright shiny new one, or just buy the new one and admire it in the driveway while I keep driving the old one. Doesn’t make much sense, I agree. I can keep them both if I want to. Or, I can go back and forth driving one and then the other. The truth is I need to let the old one go and begin to enjoy the new ride.

There is much more to be said on this subject – Stay tuned.

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