Faith vs. Doubt

24 Mar

I want to have strong faith. I know I have the faith of a mustard seed, but I want never to doubt! I don’t know if that is possible.

I have lived the majority of my life as a child of God. So, I have had many opportunities to trust God. Sometimes, I didn’t trust Him at all. At other times, my trust was limited.  It was easy to have “faith” when I was fairly certain of the outcome.

Earlier in my walk with God, I knew about doubt and faith and being double minded. I found that I wavered a lot, just not intentionally. I wanted to believe. I knew, in theory, that I could trust God and that He could do anything.  I also knew from sitting under many years of teaching from the Word of God, what faith was all about. But, it took years for me to really get it.

Now that I am a senior citizen, I can say that although I would like to have learned about the subject of God and His ways quickly and then “graduated,” that just isn’t God’s way.  If that were the case, I wouldn’t have need of a day-to-day relationship with Him. My relationship with Him wouldn’t  grow, nor would I have learned what it means to really trust Him – following the Holy Spirit as He leads me through life.

Scripture says that I must pick up my cross daily, and follow Him. I can relate it to a relationship with a significant other. As we grow old together, we continue to learn new things about each other as we face life’s challenges. As I walk daily with Jesus Christ, my Lord, my relationship grows deeper and I come to know Him more as I walk in obedience to Him – I even learn about His ways when I don’t walk in obedience.

With each trial I face, I have the opportunity to either trust Him and follow Him in obedience, or not. Either way, if I am sensitive to the Holy Spirit, I can get to know Him and even myself, better. Trials aren’t sent as punishment or because God doesn’t care. Trials come for many reasons. Possibly, I act in disobedience – maybe not even on purpose. Or, something happens beyond my control. What is important is that I take everything to Him in prayer.

With each step that I take in my daily walk with God, I learn to trust Him more and more. I find contentment and peace as my relationship with Him deepens.

I have reached a place that I know, without any doubt at all, that God knows what is best for me. He will not fail me. Even when I make mistakes, He is there to help me. I have no doubt – none – about that. It doesn’t mean that I won’t have trouble, disappointment, or even sorrow, in my life. It means that God is with me every step of every day. If I allow Him to, He will teach me by His Holy Spirit, to rest in peace and trust Him with the outcome.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have doubts about circumstances and whether I am doing what is right.  And, I even doubt sometimes if God is going to do what I ask – the way I ask – when I ask. But, the bottom line is that I do not doubt that He will do what is best for me in His time, not mine.  My part is to yield to Him, trust Him and know that His ways are higher and better than mine.

What I can’t do is get upset and rebellious when things don’t go the way I want them to.  If I really want God’s best, I have to follow Him and trust Him. Otherwise, I get into trouble and have to humbly ask Him to forgive me and then to show me the way back.

God has proven Himself faithful to me again and again. He knows me so much better than I know myself. He knows what I like and what will make me happy. So, I can trust Him and not doubt that His ways are truly the best for me.

I have witnessed God’s miracles again and again, in the worst of circumstances.  God is so amazing – there aren’t words to express how good He is. Not because of what He can do for me, but because He loves me so much. His love is the same for everyone – we just have to receive it.

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